For the third time in my life I find myself having to write a best man speech, each time the same ritual of reading numerous websites and watching copious about of YouTube videos takes centre stage to the actual writing. Every time I put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard I find myself wondering whether I need more or less humour and whether its too long or not long enough so I decided the best way to combat this was to stop writing the speech and decide to get side tracked writing this blog post!

In all seriousness I decided to take a break from writing it as I found myself writing then deleting in a rinse and repeat cycle so a break is needed. Now my thoughts turn to exactly how is best to write this thing then I decided maybe I’m looking at this the wrong way, the nature of a speech is exactly that its spoken not written so I’m now changing strategy instead of pen to paper etc… I am recording myself saying things that come to me verbally as I think that feels more natural and hopefully easier to remember with simple bullet points, I’ve now devised a list of order which is:

  1. Welcome everyone and thank them for coming (Its amazing how far some will travel for a free meal)
  2. Introduce myself (as if everyone doesn’t know who the hell I am, I mean how could they not!)
  3. Say what an honour it is to be in this position (I lie, I swear I only get asked as I’m the only one prepared to speak to a large group)
  4. Share a funny memory with the groom (excluding anything the bride or parents of would find offensive)
  5. Say how beautiful the bride looks (this is definitely something saved to just make up on the day just in case she doesn’t! just joking)
  6. Offer up a little groom bashing (not hard to do considering they’ve made me spend all my time coming up with stuff to say)
  7. Explain how wonderful it is that the bride and groom have found each other and how well they work as a team (best not remind them that 42% of marriages end in divorce)
  8. Offer a toast (at this stage I think its important to remember its over, what has been said has been said and wrap it up)

With the above list in mind I now find myself wondering if the structure is right but with a few weeks to go I want to get this done and dusted so I can just practise speaking without having to read from a script. When thinking about writing a speech the all important point to remember is to always have the person in mind of whom your speech is about, I know that seems obvious however it is all too easy to start reading others inputs and watching them YouTube videos without thinking about exactly who it is your speaking about.

So now I’ve cleared my head its back to finishing this off and practise begins! If you have any questions or comments please feel free to drop us a comment below, send us a tweet @angrycouple or email us at rant@theangrycouple.com.

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